The story of a man and his search to avoid joining the real world at all costs. Mostly tongue-in-cheek, I think.


For the Single and Forlorn

While I'm here, I have to pimp my homegirl's new blog.

Looking for that special someone?
Tired of the same old type of guy/girl/other?

Go here for some stories, advice, etc.

Hope Actually

Love, Peace, and Hairgrease.

Guess Who's Bizack.

Long time no write folks. When I left you, dear reader, I was readying for a move to Pittsburgh to start grad school. Well, here I am. Been here a couple of months, school's going pretty well and such, and I'm all settled in.

You know what? I like Pittsburgh. Bill Simmons once said, "Take the best parts of Portland, Oregon, put it in Hartford, and you have Pittsburgh." That's a pretty good assessment, I must say. It has that blue-collar vibe, but there's plenty to do (but not enough to distract me from my studies).

This is what I said in June:

I have to learn to, like, study and stuff, and stay on top of my school work. I've never really done that before . . . But now I have no choice but to step up my game. I have a scholarship that is conducive on maintaining good grades. I have to treat grad school as my profession for the next couple of years.

I guess I've done a half-decent job of that, although I could admittedly be a bit more diligent in my studies. But it's all good. My roommates are cool, and I've met cool people at school. I certainly needed a fresh start of sorts.

So, yeah, that's where I am at the moment. I'll start posting random shit in the future, possibly even entertaining of interesting stuff.


Work? I Guess You Could Call It That

So, I don't do a lot of work. Those of you who know me know that I'm not a huge fan of working. Not really my thing. So it's kind of ironic that a job that I had no intention of keeping has actually been pretty cool. My boss is laid back, I get my stuff done, and can use the rest of the day to surf the web, take numerous smoke breaks, and enjoy the city.

I put in a good hour and a half of work today though, close to my record. A couple of folks are on vacation, so I'm there to pick up the slack. And I do it well dammit. I'm one hell of a slack-picker-upper. Or something.

But I'm almost done. A week from Friday to be exact. Then the month of July is all about getting ready to move, and enjoying myself. No, not that way. Well, actually, yeah I guess it's that way too.


Commercials are Still Stupid

How is it that the same people responsible for a piece of genius can also be repsonsible for utter garbage? No, I'm not juxtaposing Jay-Z's "Reasonable Doubt" with the decorative coaster that is the "Roc La Familia" CD. I'm talking about Quizno's, or specifically the ad agency it contracted.

They make decent subs. I like that they're toasted, and their Broccoli Cheddar soup is quite tasty. But I'm talking about the commercials they've put out in the past year or so.

Last year, Quizno's put out a piece of absolute genius: Those freaky-ass rodent ads(click here for the ad). They were ugly, goofy, and to the point:

"We love the subs!
'Cuz they are good to us.
The Quiznos subs.
They are tasty,
They are crunchy,
They are warm because they toast them.
They got a pepper bar!"

Genius. The ads actually convinced me to try their subs.

And now they come with this:

A fucking talking baby. Are you serious? Who finds talking babies amusing anymore? I fucking get it. The baby talks. Babies don't actually talk like that. This is on par with a chimp wearing a suit, doing stuff humans do. It's so passe. Bring back the goofiness!

So I've had it. I sent an email to Quizno's marketing department, threatening to stop patronizing their restaurants unless they bring back the rodents, or at least get rid of the stupid-ass talking baby. I implore you to do the same.

For all of you who choose not to flip around during commercial breaks, who find advertising to be part of the entertainment experience, this is your duty as an American.

I bid you farewell for now.


FFS&S: The Interactive Edition

As I may or may not have mentioned before, I've decided that my last day of work will be Friday, July 1. Since I'm an upstanding sort of guy, I am going to give my two weeks notice. So, if you do the math, that means I'll be giving my notice this week.

So here's where you come in. I need to give a reason as to why I'm leaving. "I got into grad school in March and never planned on staying more than a couple of months" is not a viable option. Part of me wants to do something really creative. One suggestion I received was "I'm leaving to pursue my dream of becoming an astronaut." Not bad. But I need a reason I can give with a straight face.

So, please post any suggestions you may have. If I choose your suggestion, I'll send you a dollar. Seriously.

Have fun.


So, I'm Still Alive and Stuff

It's been about 6 weeks without posting. Not sure why I haven't. Maybe it's because I started working. I tend to just come home and vegetate when I get out of work, and I've had little motivation to post. So, yeah . . .

Well, I'm about 8 weeks from moving. I have to say I never imagined I'd be living in Pittsburgh, but I guess that just shows how life can take you in unforeseen directions. I'm running the gamut of emotions about this: excited, nervous, anxious, worried, etc. I know things will be just fine, but I have a tendency to worry nonetheless. I get that from my mama I guess.

But this is going to be good for me. I have to learn to, like, study and stuff, and stay on top of my school work. I've never really done that before. Even as I finished my undergrad degree, I would generally procrastinate. I have to admit that my GPA was not reflective of the work I put into it. I've never really been able to bear down and just handle my BI in a timely fashion. But now I have no choice but to step up my game. I have a scholarship that is conducive on maintaining good grades. I have to treat grad school as my profession for the next couple of years.

What else is going on? Not much really. Just trying to enjoy the warm weather a bit, and balance my time between my friends and achieving the solitude and introspection necessary to keep me sane. I've had mixed results admittedly.

So, yeah, this isn't a funny post, or particularly thoughtful for that matter. But hey, I posted, so fuck you.


Where Does it All Get You?

I've been contemplative lately. My new job is boring so far, since they are still teaching me a lot of stuff, and I'm not comfortable openly surfing the web for long stretches, so I've had plenty of time to think. I've been thinking about my future, where it will take me, etc. And I wonder if it's all worth it.

Why, exactly, is ambition a natural instinct? What causes a person to naturally strive to succeed, whether it be in work, school, relationships, etc? For example, I will be enrolling in a very highly-regarded master's program in the fall. This will, ostensibly, enable me to get a good job that allows me to make a substantive impact on society, and possibly make some good coin along the way. But what's the point? It's not like I sat back and made a conscious decision to better my life. I just did it. I never really considered that there could be an alternative.

Why did I never consider that there's nothing wrong with getting any old job that pays the bills, living check-to-check, just enjoying my free time and not worrying about breaking the bank, gaining esteem, and striving to improve my life and the lives of others? Surely there's nothing wrong with that. I could still seek out knowledge through alternate means, couldn't I?

I think it's the old "nature vs. nurture" argument. I haven't always been the most ambitious person (as if being unemployed for the duration of the human gestation process wasn't evidence of that). But I always had some sort of ideals, and goals. Lately, I've sought to replace talk with action, with mixed results. But that ambition, at some level, has always been there. Where did it come from?

As for the "nature" argument, like I mentioned before, it's always seemed inherent. It seems just about everyone wants to improve their lives on one level or another. But then there are the folks who fall through the cracks, either due to bad luck, bad circumstances, and so on, and essentially have given up on life.

I think there's some validity to the "nurture" argument as well. I'm the son of parents who immigrated to the US about 35 years ago. They came over here in search of the old cliches: Opportunity, a better life for my brothers and I, you know, the whole American Dream. As a result, they instilled a sense of purpose in us. But then, other folks were in similar situations as mine, and may not have the same "instincts." So there are pros and cons to each argument.

I guess what I'm saying is that I don't know why I do the things I do, such as why I'm trying to leave such a good impression on an employer I'll be leaving in a couple of months, or why we care about people we'll never meet in parts of the world we'll never visit. My gut tells me it's a sign of our humanity. But likewise, the fact that we don't know for sure is an even better sign of our humanity.